o well ... thn after tat went da meet kai tai and pinda ... thn we go play pool lo ... ehehe... actually i am quite scared de .... cause 2 pros leh ... ehehe..... some more i think i am da worst one among them ... ehehe.. but nvrm ... since long time nvr play wif them le so play lo .... did win a few rounds la ... he hehe... it's ok ... at least i gt win ... =)
thn ling wei came da find us too ... thn acc him eat lunch le thn travel back da sembawang lo ... thn meet jian long, jian wei and jia jun lo ... thn go play lan wif them ... wa...... play until my eyes veri tired ar ... play until my eye balls wanna come out liao la .... ehehe... thn as usual went da eat prata again lo ... eheh e... hm .. actually i am still thinkin of another new eatin place tat we can have gathering de ... he hehe... but can't think of any ... haiz ... after tat all of us went da meet dennis at his house downstairs and chat lo ... all those lame stuffs .. lolz ... yapps ... tat's how my day been le ba ... still heaven found a job .. haiz ... i wanna work ar .. if nt i wun have $$ da learn tis and buy tat le ... =(
heh ... long time nvr see any sad stories in my blog le ba .... just realised it de ... heh ehe... last time when blog out my feelings and stories tat time quite a lot of ppl read my blog de .. eh ehe... but now i think gettin less and less le ba .... but nvrm ... i also wun mind de ... cause it seems like almost everyone is bloggin abt da same thinggy as mine ... somemore my main piority is just tat at least i can blog my inner heart here ... a place where i could let out de ... so no ppl see also nvr mine de ... hu cares ar .... lolz ...
o ya .... mm... i wanna make it clear abt one thinggy ba ... mi and pei qin are just friends ... i just treat her as a bro ONLI ... so dun keep sayin and putin da both of us as one item pls ... I SWEAR WE'RE JUST FRIENDS !!! no more than tat le .....
i am numb now ... realli veri numb le ... and also a bit close le ... i feel tat da doors in mi are closing slowly and slowly le ... maybe is because too much failure le ba ... heh ehe.. or perhaphs u can say always bein reject by someone else ba ... everytime is da same pattern goin on and on ... at first was quite sweet de .... but somehow wherever things get to da top , it will drop tremandously ... i have 2 experiences be4 le ... wat did i learn ... i did learn smth ..... and tat is nt to touch relationships thinggy .... once it touch it .... it will give u happiness at the same time tears and still tears .... i did experience tears more than happiness ... heh .. jl u're right ... i am realli stupid enough man ... dun know cry for how mani times le dun know sad abt all tis for how mani times le .... i am realli nt fit da be a man ba ....
my actions are begginning to feel weaker and weaker ... last time ... i like da challenge ppl ... just lke wat happen just now when jl challenge mi da throw da prata into da curry and make his shirt stain ... last time i will definately dare da do it .... now .... look at mi ... just someone hu dares da speak but no action ... wat can i do ..... ppl keep provoking and teasing mi and yet ..... i did control, nt da mess things up .... y ... y ... y have i become like tat ... i rather i be like last time ... whereby maybe ppl will scared of mi ... maybe more and more ppl will stay away from mi ... i rather be tat .... at least .... i am happy and enjoy .... rather than now ... lettin ppl climb above mi .... relationship makes mi wantin to have it but at da same time nt da have it or even afraid of it .... i am afraid tat when things gets well and well , it will make mi fall at one time .... a big fall tat makes mi wanna cry ..... ya .. i am too emotional ....
today i just sent a msg to someone whom i realli realli miss .... i expected tat she wun reply and indeed i was right ... heh ... i know she may think tat i still have feelings for her .... but , can't a friend care for someone whom he misses de ma ... someone whom he realli wans to know how she's doin de .... no ... nth ... nth was there ... there was even nt a chance and a way tat he can speak to her de ... nt wantin to trouble and disturb her friends .... he decided to just wait .... wait till he had a chance to see her again ... hope tat he could have a chat wif her as a friend and know her doings ..... but all tis is just a dream ... a veri fairytale dream ..............
now .... i have no fellings le .... takin intiative da woo the gal tat u like i have experiences be4 le ... havin someone hu have feelings for u i had experiences be4 le .... being rejected by someone whom u like definitely experience till i can't accept le ... wat can i experience now ... wat's more comin to hurt mi ... waitin for someone whom u like for 1 yr, few months i also tried be4 le ..... wat's more .... soemtimes i am realli jealous of ppl hu can find their dream gal and guy and settle down in just one shot .... some of them even keep changin here and there .... but y i just can't .... wat am i ....
i have nt mani female friends tat i could stil stay in contact till now de ... just wanna thanks ya all ... thanks for nt forgetin abt mi tis friend .... i realli appreciate to have ya all as my friend ... xie xie ni men .....
i realli need a break ..... a break tat can make mi close my eyes relaxing , listening to the sound of waves .... feel the air of the sea ..... a place whereby there is onli freedom ..... no troubles ... so carefree ....
now .... i feel tat da onli someone tat i could have fun wif de .... da onli ppl tat could keeps mi happy is my grp of bros le .... thanks guys .... although some of u everytime suan mi and arguing wif mi and provokin mi de, i am nt angry at all .... i am just so tolerant ... he hheh eh... cause i know ... without u guys ... i think ..... my life is realli dull .... duller than anything .... xie xie .... i appreciate it ... the onli challenge now is ... how long can all of us stay in contact wif ... how long we could maintain our gatherings and bros spirit .... maybe some of us will leave us someday ... maybe wait till all of us settle down wif a gf or bf le ... our chances of meetin up will be gettin lesser and lesser le ba ... i also dun know how long i could hold up wif da grp till ... an organiser will also run out of energy and ideas too de ar ... i am tryin my best da hold on ... some of them even dun appreciate .... some may even feel tat it's a waste of time ... perhaphs maybe one day when i realli feel tired and no strength le , i will realli let go le ba ............................
lights off .... Zzzz....
- sorry to all of u tat i had to blog out my inner feelings again ... it's been some time .... if u all nt intrested, can just get out of tis blog de ... i wun mind de .... thanks everyone ...